Of fighting and flirting
by EyesWideClosed
Summary: Arthur frowns, "No. Not kinky. Breaking someone is the opposite of kinky" Eames smirks, "Obviously you haven't been doing it right pet". Or the one in which Arthur and Eames fight or maybe flirt, Dom has a midlife crisis, Ariadne is a BAMF and Yusuf is a total bro. There is also Indian food, mirror sex and blatant abuse of a chemists apprentice. Arthur/Eames, slight Yusuf/Ariadne.


**Disclaimer: **I own zip, zilch, nada.

**Rating: **T, just cos.

**AN: **INCEPTION!... Ahem, now that's out of the way, we can continue. Contains BAMF!Ariadne, midlifecrisis!Cobb,totalbro!Yusuf, kinkyMOFO!Eames and repressed(alsosecretlykinky)!Arthur. Enjoy my darlings.

(())

"Darling we just need to go back in and-"

"No"

"But if we-"

"_No._ It's impossible, I've already explained this. We don't have _time_"

"Time is but an illusion pet, you just need to dream a little-"

"If you say 'dream a little bigger' Mr Eames, I swear to god I will tie you down and _break _you. Slowly"

"_Oooh _kinky"

Arthur frowns.

"No_. _Not kinky. Breaking someone is the _opposite _of kinky"

Eames smirks.

"Obviously you haven't been doing it right pet"

Arthur throws a stapler.

(())

Ariadne watches them from her position perched on the loveseat, architectural designs forgotten. Cobb is next to her, head in his hands. He'd given up trying to play mediator hours ago and has now obviously regressed to the point of tortured head holding. Ariadne feels for him, really, she does.

"Are they fighting or flirting?" She muses, cocking her head and observing the way Arthur, even with his arms crossed tightly across his chest and his lips a thin angry line, is unconsciously leaning into Eames' space.

Cobb doesn't raise his head, "Both"

Ariadne looks fascinated, "_How?"_

Cobb shrugs, or at least she thinks he does, it's hard to tell since he's curled in on himself like a frightened witchetty grub, "I've given up trying to understand those two. It gives me migraines"

Ariadne smirks, "_Everything _gives you migraines Cobb. You've gone _soft_"

Cobb does raise his head now, looking aghast, "I most certainly have not"

Ariadne regards him dubiously, from his unshaved jaw to his comfortable sneakers to the small spot of jam on his shirt. He practically _screams '_dad', "What about that job you took last month in Sacramento"

Cobb shifts uncomfortably and doesn't meet her eyes, "What about it? It was an interesting job, one I'd never encountered before. That kind of thing is rare when you've been in this business as long as I have"

Ariadne raises an eyebrow, entirely unimpressed, "That's because the client was _eleven _Cobb and she wanted you to extract from her school bully"

Cobb makes a face that almost borders on a pout, "_So?_"

Ariadne nearly laughs and looks at him incredulously, "Cobb" she says, meeting his eyes gravely, "She paid you in _cheerios_"

Cobb crosses his arms over his chest and squints. If not for the jam on his shirt and mismatched socks he might look imposing, "I would have had to pick some up on my way home anyway. It was an amicable trade-off"

Ariadne stares, "_With an eleven year old"_

Cobb stares back, "What's your point?"

Ariadne flails, "My _point? _My point is you're Dom Cobb! You were the first person to ever pull of inception and now you're working for cheerio's!"

"…And?"

Ariadne puts her head in her hands.

(())

Yusuf taps the boy on the shoulder, "You. Drink this"

His young apprentice blinks up at him owlishly, "What?"

"Did I stutter?"

The frightened boy gulps the yellowish liquid down without another word and promptly passes out at his desk. Yusuf makes a _'hm' _noise and scratches something in his notebook before walking back to his own desk.

One desk over, Arthur stares, "So you just… drug people now do you?"

Yusuf doesn't even blink, "I've always drugged people"

Arthur looks at the young man who's now drooling all over his equations, "What did you give him exactly?"

"A powerful sedative apparently"

"_Apparently?"_

"He was annoying and someone had to test my new compound"

Arthur shrinks away a bit despite himself, "What _are _you?"

Yusuf looks at him and smiles brightly, "Yusuf of course"

Arthur represses a shiver.

(())

"Ariadne dearest, come over here for a tick"

Ariadne puts her sketch pad aside and walks over to where Eames is crouched intently over his computer screen, "What's up?"

He grins at her, "I need your opinion on something"

Ariadne is immediately apprehensive, "What?" It must show on her face, because Eames laughs and claps her on the back hard enough to knock the air out of her with a startled, _'oof!'_

"Sorry" he looks sheepish, but is still smiling, "Nothing to be worried about dear, I promised not to bring up that-which-will-not-be-named again after last time. Wouldn't want to offend your delicate sensibilities"

She gets her breath back long enough to glare ominously, "You'd better not, or you'll find out exactly how delicatemy sensibilities _aren't_"

He sighs melodramatically and rolls his eyes, "_Women" _he mutters cheekily

She's about to cut back with a retort (that rest assured would have been witty and cutting and _utterly brilliant_) when he pulls up an online _catalogue_, and online _shoe catalogue_.

An online_ women's shoe_ _catalogue_.

"I need you to give me your opinion on which heels I should wear, the red strappy ones or the black velvet"

She's sure something in her brain has short-circuited because he can't be serious, this can't really be happening. She reaches for her totem, finds it sitting snugly in her jacket pocket and for the first time, still questions her reality, "Is this real life?"

"Unquestionably" Eames says, "now, red or black?"

Ariadne stares, "Red"

Eames nods sagely, "Good choice"

He clicks, 'add to shopping cart'.

(())

Ariadne pokes the snoring boy with her pencil a couple of times to try and wake him and frowns when he just starts snorting more obnoxiously.

Reaching around his prone form, she holds his nose and waits. After a minute he starts breathing through his mouth and the snoring stops. She sighs in relief and let's go.

She's halfway across the room before he starts up again with a vengeance.

"Oh _tits!_"

(())

Cobb is sitting on the loveseat wearing only his undershirt, his outer shirt cradled delicately in his hands. He's fingering the stain on the collar sadly and sighing morbidly every few minutes.

Arthur approaches warily.

He stops in front of the extractor and waits. When Cobb continues to do nothing but stare at his shirt like it's his reason for breathing, Arthur clears his throat, "Cobb?" he tries gently.

Cobb looks at him sadly and sighs. Arthur is reminded frighteningly of post-Mal Dom and has to repress a shudder, "You okay Cobb?"

"I'm _soft_ Arthur" He groans, burying his face in the shirt, "Like a fucking care bare"

Arthur furrows his brow, "A what?"

"_See!" _he yelps and Arthur flinches back, eyeing him warily. Dom leaps to his feet like a fucking flamenco dancer and thrusts the shirt in his face, "and there's _jam _too!" he wails, "What am I coming to Arthur?"

Arthur is infinitely confused, but schools his expression into the kind of placid calm that Cobb usually responds well to, "Dom" he begins slowly, searching the other man's frantic eyes and putting a hand on his shoulder, "Calm down and tell me what's wrong"

Cobb calms abruptly and looks at him seriously, "I was paid for a job in _cheerio's_ Arthur, by an _eleven year_ _old_. Something horrible is happening to me"

Arthur blinks at him and can't even muster up the will to be surprised anymore, "Alcohol" he says lowly, "We need alcohol"

It's not a question, but Cobb nods anyway, "Oh god yes"

(())

By the time Cobb and Arthur come back, passing a bottle of vodka between them like college students, Ariadne has taped the apprentices mouth shut with electrical tape and is looking entirely unapologetic about it.

The boy chokes on his own spit a bit and makes a horrid retching sound muffled by the tape, but doesn't snore. She looks at Yusuf. He appears supremely unconcerned and doesn't even look up from his chemicals.

She shrugs and resolves not to worry about it.

She flips through her magazine idly and watches Cobb and Arthur collapse on the loveseat together, obviously more than a little merry. She walks over to where they are discussing something in hushed tones with serious faces and whacks Arthur on the head with her magazine.

"_Ouch!_" he yelps and glares at her, rubbing his head.

She holds out her hand, "Sharing is caring"

He grumbles a bit, but hands the bottle over. She takes a long swig and sighs in contentment, squishing up next to Cobb on the seat. It's a bit squashed, but they're too drunk to care and Ariadne is shameless.

Speaking of shameless, Eames chooses that moment to waltz over towards them, his usual swagger amplified by his blood red strappy stilettos. She blinks once, twice and the image still doesn't disappear.

Fuck her life.

Seriously.

"What do you think darlings?"

From behind their little drunk cluster on the other side of the warehouse, Yusuf snorts, "So many things Eames, _so many things_"

"Hush Yusuf, I wasn't asking you" Eames smiles beatifically

Cobb blinks, "Why? Just… why?"

Eames shrugs, "Why not?"

Strangely enough Cobb seems satisfied by this and sinks back into the couch cushions with a sigh, "Fair enough" he cocks his head, "As men in heels go, you actually don't look that bad Eames"

Eames' eyes twinkle, "It comes from being in touch with my feminine side"

Ariadne snorts and takes a swig of vodka, "Is that what they're calling taking it up the arse these days?"

Cobb looks aghast, Yusuf snickers loudly and Arthur is strangely quiet. Eames looks delighted and winks at her, "Precisely darling" he looks down at his legs, flexes his calves and says almost absently, "There's no shame in liking a bit of arse play"

"_Okay_" Cobb says, eyes wide and slightly terrified, "that's enough of that. Not in front of the ch-"

He stops talking abruptly and Ariadne narrows her eyes, "Not in front of the _what _Cobb?" she hisses and Eames looks thoroughly amused. She stands slowly, looming over him, "In front of the _child?_"

Cobb gapes like a fish and Eames takes up the vacant space next to Arthur. He tunes out Ariadne's yelling and Cobb's frightened whimpers, focusing instead on the way Arthur is reclining in the loveseat and pointedly not looking at him.

Eames crosses his legs purposefully and Arthur stiffens, in more ways than one.

Eames leans in until his front is flush against Arthur's side and he's practically mouthing at his ear, "Arthur darling, you never did tell me what you think" he husks, deliberately letting his lips brush the shell of Arthur's ear.

Arthur turns to face him, eyes black as coals, "I think" he begins, voice guttural and low, "that I need to clear my browser history more often"

Eames smiles, full lips stretching becomingly, "_Darling_" he purrs, "Where would be the fun in that?"

(())

"So" Yusuf looks between Ariadne and Cobb reproachfully, "What have we learnt here today?"

Cobb shudders and rubs his arm soothingly, "To never insinuate that Ariadne is a child ever again" he looks at her warily, "or call her fists tiny and ineffective"

She glares at him and he shrinks back reflexively.

"Ariadne?" Yusuf reprimands and she shifts uncomfortably in her seat, turning her glare on him.

"Violence is never the answer" she grumbles, staring at the floor, "Except when there are guns involved, then it is most definitely the answer"

Yusuf nods happily, "Excellent you two, well done" he rubs his hands together, completely ignoring their twin glowers, "Who wants Indian?" he asks merrily, crossing to get the take-out menu from his desk drawer, "My treat"

On the way back to the love seat he stops by his apprentice's desk to resecure the electrical tape absent-mindedly, flipping through the paper menu and muttering under his breath about chicken vindaloo.

Ariadne tries not to think too much about how sexy she finds those with a blatant disregard for normal human empathy.

Suddenly Yusuf is pretty cool.

(())

Eames is washing his hands in their small communal bathroom when Arthur finds him and crowds him up again the sink, locking the door behind him. His eyes are a dark promise and Eames smirks, "See something you like darling?"

Arthur stares at him intently for long enough that Eames falters, "Darling?"

He says nothing.

Arthurs smiles slowly and Eames is entranced, "You have dimples" he murmurs, thumbing the one stretched across his right cheek, "I never realised"

Arthur leans in and brushes his lips across Eames' teasingly, hitching up his leg around his waist and pressing their groins together. Eames groans lowly and tips his head back. Arthur's lips follow.

He traces the hollow of Eames' throat with his lips, then his tongue and hums contentedly when Eames clutches harder at his back and pushes their hips together more forcefully.

Arthur withdraws slightly to remove his shirt and drop his pants. Eames stares, "Commando darling?" he husks, licking his lips and unashamedly taking Arthur in, eyes dropping to his pelvis. Eames feels his mouth go abruptly dry and he licks his lips.

It's Arthur's turn to grin, "See something you like Mr Eames?" he parrots, moving forward to undo his belt and push Eames' pants down around his ankles. He pulls Eames forward until he's flush against Arthur's hard body and then he's reaching into his underwear to press the dry pad of his thumb against his quivering hole.

Eames groans and bites his lip to keep from moving into the intrusion, "Definitely" he husks and rolls his hips into Arthur's groin.

Arthur groans, huffs a laugh and considers him, eyes searching and almost clinical, like he isn't teasing Eames' arsehole with the pad of his devious thumb. Eames' breath stutters and he grins at Arthur, arching his hips and moaning wantonly. Arthur licks his lips and presses a bit harder, not breaching, but firm enough to send a hot spark of pleasure up Eames' spine, "I have to say darling" he huffs out between panting breaths as Arthur continues his torturous ministrations, "You aren't quite what I expected" he reaches down to cup Arthur's naked erection to emphasize his point and Arthur smirks, eyes dark and dangerous.

Without warning, he pulls Eames' boxers down past his ankles and hoists him up on the counter. Eames barely has time to feel the cold bench against his arse before he's being turned onto his knees, chest against the mirror, hips thrust backwards to bare his dusty pink hole, legs spread becomingly, "Eames" Arthur clucks, kneading his arse cheeks gently before pulling them apart and rubbing newly slicked fingers against his hole. Eames moans at the first breach and Arthur moves forward until his breath is stuttering against the forger's ear, his chest pressed against the hard line of his muscled back, "you _really_ must learn to dream a little bigger"

(())

It's only when the three of them are inhaling the palak paneer, vegetable pakora's and chicken samosa's that Yusuf has brought back that Cobb notices the distinct lack of Arthur and Eames. He looks over at Arthur's empty desk and frowns. As unusual as it is for Arthur to not be at his desk, it's even more unusual for Eames to not to be where there is free food.

"Where do think Arthur and Eames have gotten to?"

Ariadne shrugs, snagging the last pakora. Yusuf glares at her, "Beats me" she says through a mouthful of food. Living with a group of men for months on end has not done her any favours in regards to table manners.

Cobb frowns at her and turns to Yusuf. He also shrugs, "Probably off squabbling about something or other, you know those two. They can never agree on anything"

Cobb takes a bite of naan, "Yeah, you're probably right"

(())

"_Ooooh God, ARTHUR!" _Eames moans and thrusts backwards harshly, making his hips stutter and disrupting Arthur's rhythm.

As with any other time in his life he has been interrupted in the midst of impressive work, Arthur gets snippish, "Fuck, stop _moving _you ass"

Eames huffs a laugh, breath fogging the mirror, "Darling, it's kind of hard not to move when you're- _oohyeahrighthere!_- fucking me into the mirror"

Arthur grunts, presses him up against the mirror harder and meets his dark gaze in the reflective surface, "I'll have to fix that" he mutters into his nape and before Eames can question what he means, Arthur has him pressed fully against the glass, his dick beading pre-come against the smooth surface. Arthur angles his hips upwards and thrusts harshly in and out of him. Eames whines when the new angle catches his abused rim and humps the mirror in time with Arthur's thrusts. Arthur hums approvingly, burying his face into the back of Eames' neck, mouthing at his hairline, "Now you're getting it"

Eames is so close to coming he doesn't even call him a condescending bastard.

Eames mouths at the mirror, each of Arthur's thrusts drawing breathy little exclamations from his full lips. Arthur's groans, his rhythm stutters all on its own this time and he pistons into Eames harder, meeting his eyes in the mirror, "Jesus Eames, you're so fucking incredible" His eyes are intense, reverent and Eames's breath catching has nothing to do with the brutal thrust of Arthur's hips. A hand tangles in Eames loose cowlicks and pulls his head back. He turns into Arthur's face obligingly and lets the other man plunder his mouth. They're still kissing when Arthur's thrusts turn jerky and deep, giving his prostate no respite. Eames moans wantonly into Arthur's mouth and his orgasm rushes through him like a fucking tsunami. He clenches around Arthur, riding his orgasm and wrenching Arthur's from him. Arthur comes with a startled gasp, Eames' names on his tongue, _"Eames_" he groans, burying his face in his neck and sucking harshly.

Arthur gives a few more abortive thrusts as he jerks inside of Eames and they collapse together. He circles his arms around Eames' waist and he leans back against Arthur's shuddering chest. In spite of the odd picture they make in the come splattered mirror, they are a handsome pair.

Eames registers careful fingers combing through his hair and he smiles teasingly, "Careful there darling" he grumbles, cracking a lazy eye open and glancing over his shoulder to meet Arthur's hooded gaze, "someone might make the mistake of thinking you care"

Arthur is silent until he isn't, "Someone like you?"

Eames pauses and leans his head back onto Arthur's shoulder to meet his eyes properly, "Possibly"

Arthur's careful eyes search his and after a long moment he smiles. His cheeks dimple, "Well good" he murmurs, bending slightly to brush their lips together chastely, "I wouldn't want you to think any differently"

Eames turns in his arms, and slinks off the counter so he's standing eye to eye with the lithe point man. He regards him carefully, teasing smile still firmly in place, hiding his surprise and apprehension. Arthur must see it anyway, because he reaches forward to cup Eames cheek gently and run a thumb over Eames' plush lower lip in a startlingly intimate gesture. Eames bites down on it gently and Arthur's lashes flutter becomingly, "Really darling?" he murmurs and Arthur pulls him in firmly by the back of his neck.

"Really" Arthur kisses him then, long, sweet and deep. Eames hums his approval into his mouth, arms circling around his back.

(())

They walk back into the warehouse together and Cobb corners them immediately, "You missed dinner" he accuses, jabbing a finger into his chest.

Arthur shrugs him off, "Eames had some information on our mark I wanted to check out"

Cobb relaxes a bit, "and?"

Arthur sighs, "It was a bust, a false trail left by the guy's mistress, but worth checking out all the same if just to rule it out"

Cobb nods resignedly, "Good work. Just let me know where you are next time okay? I had to eat your share of the curries" Cobb shudders and looks a little ill and Arthur almost feels sorry for him, except he really _really_ doesn't. Cobb pats them both on the back and walks over to where Yusuf is bent over his latest compound.

Arthur sends Eames a small smile and retreats back to his desk, sitting down with a contented sigh. From the desk next to his, Ariadne snickers and grins at him.

Arthur regards her coolly, "What?"

She grins wider, "Have a good time on your _stake out_ then?"

Across from her, Eames snorts.

Arthur looks at her blankly, not rising to the bait, "Not really. Dead ends are quite monotonous as you might imagine"

She hums amusedly, "Quite", and after a moment she goes back to her sketches.

Bemused, Arthur goes back to typing up his report on the marks brother and Ariadne is strangely silent long enough for him to get it done and printed. It's not until he's handing it out to everyone that her voice pipes up as he passes her desk and she grabs his sleeve, fingering the material in what would be an absent manner if not for the devilish smirk playing at her lips, "Nice shirt" she says, "blue's a good colour on you"

Arthur freezes.

The shirt he's been wearing all day is green.

He looks up and across and sure enough Eames is wearing his green shirt, the material stretched tightly across his shoulders and chest. How had he not noticed that before? Eames, apparently having heard the comment, can't quite keep the amused smile from his face, his full lips stretching over his crooked teeth invitingly. _Oh_, Arthur thinks, _that's why_.

Arthur sighs and bites the proverbial bullet. He smiles at Ariadne who looks surprised, "Yes it is isn't it? I plan to keep wearing it for a long while yet so you should probably get used to the idea of me… wearing blue"

Ariadne smiles gently, "You don't have to worry about that Arthur. I've wanted you to wear blue for a while now" her smile turns abruptly dangerous, "In fact, I've had severaldistinctfantasies about you _wearing blue_" she waggles her eyebrows at him and Arthur recoils.

"Ariadne!" he yelps, "There are some thing I _do not_ need to know"

Eames laughs heartily, joining them in the middle of the warehouse floor, "Nonsense darling, you have an irrepressible desire to know everything. It's what makes you such a smashing point man"

"Not _everything_" Arthur grumbles, "and certainly not that"

Ariadne does not look at all repentant and is, in fact, looking at them fondly. It's only then that he realises Eames' arm is around his waist, "_Eames" _he hisses

"Oh relax" Yusuf pipes up from behind his beakers, "I could smell sex on you the minute you walked in and you'd practically have to _have_ sex in front of Cobb for him to get the picture so I wouldn't worry"

Eames laughs and Arthur frowns, "Where is Cobb?"

"He's in the bathroom"

Eames and Arthur both freeze and look at each other, paling in horror, "Did you clean-"

"No, did you-"

A loud shout and the sound of clanging metal from the back of the warehouse steal their attention, followed by Cobb's muted shriek,

"_Is that come on my fucking mirror?!" _

(())

"We _can't_"

"Why not? If I tailor the compound to suit your-"

"It won't work. The castle won't be as realistic as I need it to be for the mark under that level of sedation"

Yusuf scoffs.

"What does it matter how realistic it is, it's a medieval castle, _in a dream_"

Ariadne rolls her eyes.

"Yes but this guy had his _PHD in medieval history_. He's kind of a special case"

"Still, maybe if I just-"

Yusuf ducks the sketch pad thrown at his head.

"_No!_"

(())

Eames cocks his head at them, "Are they fighting or flirting?" he asks Cobb, who is packing up his station for the night. He stops abruptly and eyes him strangely, "What?"

Cobb stares for a minute longer and shakes his head, "Nothing. Ariadne just asked something similar earlier. About you and Arthur actually"

Eames smirks, eyeing the architect amusedly from across the room, "Is that so?"

Cobb heads for the exit, but stalls beside him for a moment, "So which was it with you two?"

"Hm?"

Cobb smiles, "Fighting or flirting?"

He watches Arthur bend over his desk and rifle through his drawers, brow furrowed in concentration and smiles, "Both" he cocks his head, eyeing his ass, "definitely both"

Cobb shakes his head and mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like "knew it" and stalks towards the warehouse doors and towards home.

Eames thinks he is setting a wonderful example.

He walks over and leans casually against Arthur's desk, "Ready to go then?"

Arthur frowns, "I should get this done before I go" he mutters and turns to look at Eames. He blinks and licks his lips, "on the other hand, running oneself down too hard can lead to poor work quality"

Eames grins and pulls him up against him, brushing their lips together, "We wouldn't want that" he breathes against his lips and he feels Arthur's answering smile, "Definitely not"

"Let's go"

They gather their things and are all but legging it towards the door when Arthur stops abruptly, turning back towards Eames' desk to pick up his strappy high heels, he jogs back over to him quickly, "You're a ten right?"

Eames cocks an eyebrow, "Darling?"

Arthur walks ahead and Eames can practically hear the smirk in his voice, "You think you're the only one that looks good in heels?"

Eames can't follow fast enough.

(())

Later that night, Cobb is using his jam stained shirt to wipe his crying son's eyes and gather him in his arms to rock him to sleep while his daughter sings a French lullaby. Ariadne and Yusuf are having drinks at a nondescript bar, talking shop and pretending like they aren't looking at each other when the other is unaware. Arthur and Eames are having sex, Eames ridiculous heels digging grooves into his own back.

Everyone is exactly where they're supposed to be.

Except Yusuf's apprentice.

He's still passed out on his desk drooling into his notes.

(())

**AN: **Tada! Do you get the page breaks?! They're inceptionified page breaks. A bracket _within_ a bracket :D

Aaaanywhoosle. Poor Yusuf's apprentice! He's really only there for comic relief, but I do have a soft spot for him, not that you can tell mind you.

Tell me what you thought. Mwah!

Read and Review my pretties and I will write more smut. Any pairing you like (cough*arthurandeames*cough), just ask. No, seriously, I will. I want to write more smut if you would be interested in _reading _more smut. Let me know


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